Ciao! īandits of Sanctuary: I hear a new Vault Hunter has arrived in your city. I’ve got a little secret that I, uh - you know what? You don’t need to hear it - it’ll probably just confuse ya. And I’ll enjoy it even more because - ah, I shouldn’t say anymore. I’m gonna spend a lowng time torturing you bandit scum to death. You like my speech? I was lying about the last part, by the way. If you let it, this could be an era of order - of peace! Just turn yourselves in, and I promise: your deaths will be quick.
This is a message to Sanctuary, (mockingly) “the last stronghold of the resistance.” Pandora as you knew it - the chaos, the bandits - that time has passed. ĭignity! Almost forgot to mention dignity. I bet you’re feelin’ pretty great about killing that no-name bandit king, huh? (sigh) Sometimes I envy you bandits - you’re so.unburdened with things like intelligence, culture, morality, honor, ambition, good looks.I could go on. Handsome Jack here, reminding you all not to worry your pretty little heads about those earthquakes - with every tremor, my drills get closer to the vault - to freedom, order, and safety for all of us. Oh, and I’m still offering a reward for Roland, the mass-murdering leader of the Crimson Raiders. (A horse whinnies.) Īttention, people of Pandora! Handsome Jack here, offering a million bucks to whomever brings me the head of the Vault Hunter who just arrived in Liar’s Berg. It's a living horse that actually happens to be made of - actually, I'll just go get her. I should probably clarify - the diamond horse I’ve been telling you about? It's not a sculpture, or anything. Maybe.”Butt Stallion”? Nah, that’s even worse. I was gonna call it “piss-for-brains” in honor of you, but that just feels immature. I’m rackin' my brain trying to think of a name for that diamond pony I bought. I just bought a pony made of diamonds, because I’m rich. Hey, you think you’ll freeze to death out there? Nah, probably not. (munching on pretzels) So, how’s your day been, buddy? We haven’t really talked much since I left you for dead. So, if you could just do me a favor and off yourself, that’d be great. Seeing the problem here? You're still alive. Lemme explain how things work here: Vault Hunter shows up. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's cute that you all think you're the heroes of this little adventure, but you're not. I can't just have some psychopathic murderers getting to the vault beforeI do.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s cute that you all think you’re the heroes of this little adventure, but - you’re not. See, I can’t just have some psychopathic murderers getting to the Vault before I do. Only badasses like you could brave the horrors of Pandora and find it. The power inside the next vault could bring peace to Pandora.
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